Scott Phipps -Band Master Flash- (360)699-4945 home and (360)936-3304 cell

TOP TEN THINGS THAT MAKE "ORDINARY JOE" ORDINARY...

10.    They can't begin and end a song together to save their lives!
9.    Their time is worse than playing in Molalla! Country re-makes of classics can make you sterile!!! 
8.    With all of the guitars they have on stage, you would think that at least two of them could be in tune at the same time!
7.    There is nothing wrong with classic rock, it only becomes a drag when the guys playing it screw up the three chords that is consists of on a nightly basis!
6.    The louder a band plays does not make it sound better!  It only makes the customers and employees of clubs temperamental.  In this bands case, it also makes numbers 7,8,9, and 10 stand out even more!
5.    If you do insist on playing obnoxiously loud each and every night then at least have the presence to direct the band to bring the volume level down long enough to make announcements.  No one has a clue to what the hell you are trying to say because of your shitty equipment that you do not know how to use.
4.    A young girl once asked her mother..."Is it possible to become pregnant from having anal sex?" and her mother replied..."Of course, where do you think guys who play through Marshall's come from!"
3.    What band uses a remedial and boring ass tune like "Louie Louie" as it's closer and to feature it's members anyway?  By the way, when trading solo's it is proper band etiquette to trade solos one player at a time.  And when it is not your turn, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP AND DON'T PLAY OVER ANOTHER SOLOIST UNTIL THEY ARE FINISHED!!!
2.    It has always and forever will be "One" followed by "Two" then "Three" and "Four".  This cycle repeats until the song is over.  NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

and the number one that that makes "Ordinary Joe" Ordinary..... 

GUYS IN REAL ROCK BANDS DO NOT WEAR WRANGLERS!!!